


Detailed Reports: East Beach, Junari Point, Chandrila

by HarpiaHarpyja



Series: Two Halves - Reylo Weekly Challenge Flash Fiction [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Chandrila, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Kylo Ren’s Very Specific and Sometimes Slightly Smutty Travelogue, Kylo “Carnal Activities” Ren, Lie Back and Think of the Force Bond, Pedantic and Extra Kylo Ren, Post-War, Rey Scavenges Kylo's Junk, Rey of Jakku: Post-Coital Snacker, Reylo - Freeform, Sand Really Does Get Everywhere, Sand: Mortal Enemy of Skywalkers Everywhere, There Are Some Things Endorphins Can’t Fix, Thwarted Beach Sex, Traversing the Galaxy with Rey and Kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 11:31:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14079969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarpiaHarpyja/pseuds/HarpiaHarpyja
Summary: We all know Kylo Ren is a huge nerd who used to write up detailed post-flight reports of the Silencer for the First Order.So what happens when, during their post-war travels, Rey discovers that he’s been keeping equally detailed reports rating all the places they’ve had sex?She offers him a new idea, of course (but not until after she gives him a hard time for some of his word choices).





	Detailed Reports: East Beach, Junari Point, Chandrila

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to the second @two-halves-of-reylo Tumblr weekly challenge, “Sand” theme. 
> 
> "Will the irritating grains bring tears of laughter or sadness to the eyes of your fellow shippers this week? Your objective is to write a 200 words+ ficlet or create a piece of art involving sand."

_“Kylo’s detailed post-flight reports allow Sienar-Jaemus techs to refine onboard systems, with an eye toward the day when shipyards will begin mass-producing silencers for the regime’s frontline units.”_ \- Star Wars: The Last Jedi Incredible Cross-Sections

+++

“‘Report: Island Hut. Ahch-To. Centaxday. Evening.’”

Seated at the desk near the lounge window, Kylo straightened automatically at the sound of Rey’s voice. It took him a moment to process what she was saying. When he did, he immediately recognized those words. Alone, they were harmless enough. Clustered together as they were now, they were incriminating. His eyes widened a fraction. He looked over his shoulder at her and found to his dismay that what he thought was happening, was indeed happening. 

Rey was standing in the doorway, posture stiff, her eyebrows and mouth drawn in knowing superiority. In her hands was a slim volume of parchment bound in brown, waterproofed, ostensibly unassuming canvas. Except apparently it was not unassuming enough, because somehow, she had found it, and somehow, she’d been intrigued enough to open it and read what she found inside. 

Of course she had. Kylo should have known better and taken more care. And now she was lingering just outside of the bedroom where she had found it, relating the contents aloud as if giving a report. 

Which she was. Just not one she was supposed to be aware of.

“Rey. What are you doing?” 

But for a slight raise in her eyebrows, she ignored him and continued in a clipped, formal tone that altered the familiar lilt of her accent. “‘Cold and raining, thunder. Despite attempts to mitigate obvious limitations, stone bench leaves much to be desired. Holdovers from’—” 

“Rey. Stop.” He pushed back from the desk a bit, hands braced on the edge. He was trying very hard, and failing equally hard, to remain calm. “Where did you find that?”

His mounting alarm only amused her. Fighting the tug of a smirk at the corner of her mouth, she went on after stealing a glance at him to make sure he wasn’t actually approaching her to take the book away. 

“‘ _Holdovers_ from ascetic lifestyles in general probably not ideal locations for strenuous carnal activity.’” Here she paused abruptly, because her face had contorted in a barely concealed burst of laughter. She looked at him, eyes bright and shoulders quivering with smug delight. “‘Strenuous _carnal activity_ ,’ Ben? ‘Carnal’? Really?”

As all this was going on Kylo stood and started across the room toward her, but she dodged away from his grasp and back into the bedroom, where she leapt nimbly onto the bed and backed herself against the wall, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet as he halted in the doorway.

From her perch above him, she dived back in, her words becoming less intelligible as her gasps of laughter increased in frequency. 

“. . . ‘not ideal for strenuous carnal activity. Effects of Force connection nevertheless deeply intensified.’ Parenthetical note, ‘Most likely due to Force-sensitive nature of island. Worth exploring this theory further. Often.’ End parenthetical. Hmm. ‘Resulted in extreme heightening of shared physical sensation and emotional cognizance throughout the act, increased stamina, as well as levitation.’”

“ _Rey_. I’m—”

“‘Levitation helped with problem of unforgiving stone bench. Excellent. Also for consideration: loud and repeated sex on sacred island’”—Her head cocked and her voice took on a tone of greatly exaggerated curiosity—“‘mildly irreverent or completely sacrilegious?’”

This was too much. Lips pressed tightly together and jaw set, Kylo reached out a hand and tapped into the Force. The book flew effortlessly from Rey’s hands to his. Robbed of her prize, she dropped to the bed and dissolved into giggles as he stalked back to the lounge with the book, face burning. 

Her amusement only lasted so long without a stimulus, and in a minute or so she quieted and emerged from the bedroom to join him. He was back in his chair at the desk by then and studiously ignoring her, trying to focus on the star map projected from the datapad in front of him. She stopped behind him and draped her arms over his shoulders, letting her head loll around to look at the side of his face.

“You’re a little pink, you know,” she said.

He frowned. “So are you. Have a good laugh?”

“I was just looking for a comb and thought you would have one in your bag.” She sounded vaguely conciliatory, and her breath tickled his neck. “But I saw this little book, and you know I like your handwriting. So I thought I’d have a look. I assumed it was just some sort of ledger where you kept track of expenses or something. I didn’t think it would be your . . .” Her voice quavered again, and he felt the laughter rising in her chest where she was leaning into him. “. . . secret . . . sex diary of . . . carnal activities.”

“How much did you read?”

She released him and moved around to sit on the edge of the desk. He noticed her eyes scanning the general area. She was looking for the book. Good luck to her: he was sitting on it.

“The first few pages.” Her eyes narrowed. “Er. Half, maybe. All the stuff about the _Falcon_. The outpost on Charissia. Your ship. That field on Birren, speeder on Coruscant, meditation retreat on Gatalenta. A few hotels. Some of the Ahch-To stuff. Also, the bit about—”

“Okay, okay.”

She paused, then said quickly, “I started flipping to random pages.”

“Evidently.” 

“It’s funny!” she insisted, prodding him in the shoulder. 

“Thanks.” Kylo looked at her blandly. “Did you read all the parts about how much you always want snacks afterward and get crumbs everywhere?”

“Oh, come on.” Rey did look apologetic now, though he could tell she still thought he was overreacting and was getting far more entertainment out of this than he was. “Why didn’t you tell me about it? I have some good input, you know.”

His first instinct was to say that he hadn’t told her about it because it was his. After the war ended, all Rey had wanted to do was travel, so that was what they’d been doing. One day, he supposed they’d stop somewhere and decide to stay. For now, home was each other, and he knew that she kept a journal of the places they had seen. It was mostly on a datapad, but she drew pictures for each entry, too, and those were beautiful. Still, he only ever looked at it after asking her, or when she offered. He loved when she shared these things with him, but he also knew that they were hers.

On the other hand, maybe he was attributing too much weight to that, and this. Rey always seemed to think it strange when he asked permission to see her journal, and her question now was fair. When he’d started his own travel project on a whim one night after she’d fallen asleep, Kylo feared she would find the habit off-putting, and he thought it was something that would be of more interest to himself than to her. As far as he was concerned, he was doing it _for_ her, since she only stood to benefit from whatever he gleaned. But she had a point. If he was recording only his own impressions of the places they had been together in his very specific and sometimes slightly smutty travelogue, he was probably missing a considerable amount of crucial perspective. Damn.

When he didn’t answer, she leaned close to him. “So is that a record of _every_ time we’ve performed ‘carnal activities,’ or—”

“Please stop saying it like that. I wrote it one time.” He smirked despite himself and wrapped an arm around her waist to coax her off the desk top and into his lap. “And no. Just the . . . uh. First time in any location. In case I want to remember what’s worth revisiting.”

“Some of them were very detailed,” she said, looking thoughtful. “I’m surprised you didn’t draw pictures.”

“Unless you’re looking to add a nightmarish quality to it, be glad I don’t. I’m not a good artist.”

They were both silent for a moment, then started laughing. His embarrassment over the book being found shifted to embarrassment over his reaction to her finding it. Nothing he’d written was anything she didn’t already know, or shouldn’t know. And if she’d stumbled across any of the marginalia digressing into how much he adored her and wanted to please her, so be it. That too, he hoped, was nothing she didn’t already know.

Rey leaned into him and wrapped her arms around him again, pressing a light, sucking kiss under his ear. “I’m sorry I laughed at it. I like your weird, fussy reports. I like that you hand write them. Some of them were almost a bit too much fun to read, actually.” She nipped at his earlobe. “You have quite an eye for detail.” 

He snickered.

“As long as there’s not some hidden appendix where you’re rating me or anything like that,” she added.

“Never,” he murmured, catching her lips with his. “You’re always perfect. It would be completely unnecessary.”

He felt her lips against his curve into a smile.

“But in the spirit of being forthcoming, you should know that there is a section about the foods you’ve asked for.” He tipped her slightly against the desk until she tilted her head back for him to pepper a few kisses down her throat. He knew it would tickle her eventually, and sure enough, a moment later she squirmed against him and laughed.

“Can I make a suggestion for your next one?” she said as she straightened back up, cheeks flushed. “Aside from letting me help write it.”

“You can.” Holding her against him, he stood and plopped her back on the desk, a little harder than intended, barely avoiding crushing the datapad beneath her. He grinned and slowly slipped a hand under her shirt to caress her skin and brush a thumb along the side of her breast. “Is it . . . hotel suite desk, Junari Point, Chandrila, Primeday, near sundown?”

She snorted, indulging his roaming hands and wrapping her legs behind him to pull him more snugly to her, and stretched up to rest her chin on his shoulder. “Good guess. Worth considering. But no.”

“What then?” He felt her hands doing something where they were clasped behind his neck. One kept massaging at his shoulder, like a distraction, but the other was unaccounted for. He frowned and leaned back a little.

“There are at least three beaches within walking distance of this place. And sunset is about an hour from now.” She was still doing something behind his back, and he still couldn’t tell what it was. But she was also holding him fast between her thighs, and he was reluctant to stop fondling her. “Once they’ve closed them up to the public, want to sneak out there for a swim when it’s dark? I promise it would lead to more than swimming and another first for your records.”

“Ah.” Truthfully, Kylo had some immediate reservations. The legality was a nonissue, as was the potential for getting caught, but he could think of several things that might see this proposed excursion rank near the bottom when it came to places worth revisiting for their purposes. Or he could be wrong. “Good one.”

“Mm hm . . .” She was definitely up to something. He tried to crane his neck around but was blocked by her still leaning on his shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.”

He heard the faint sound of pages turning and grimaced as it came to him. When he stood, he’d also left the record book he was sitting on fully exposed for her to notice and reclaim. “You’re reading the book again, aren’t you.”

“Yes.” She cleared her throat and tightened her legs around him to scoot forward and rub against him in a way that was absolutely intended to keep him from trying to take it back. It was working. “Report: Cabin. Gallo Mountains. Naboo. Zhellday. Afternoon, post-sparring.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“Should I continue reading?” She drew her free hand up into his hair and scratched her nails lightly along his scalp. “Refresh your memory? You gave it high marks, and I think I remember something from it I wouldn't mind trying again. Before dinner. If you stop interrupting me.”

“I’m listening.” He hoisted her up off the desk and carried her back into the bedroom.

+++

It was a fortunate thing that Chandrila’s twin moons were as bright tonight as they were, or this might have been more difficult. So far, Kylo had to admit that his qualms about Rey's earlier idea were seemingly unfounded. The hour was late enough that there was very little chance of anyone stumbling upon them in the midst of their tryst—though they were still close to a popular seaside area with several busy bars, so it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility that others might have the same idea. However, as they drew closer to the water, Rey dropped her blanket and bag unceremoniously in the sand and started shedding articles of clothing, and any lingering concerns Kylo may have had vanished as he followed suit.

The swimming part of their clandestine trip to the beach was, as she had intimated it might be, rather short. It wasn’t the point of being here, and they could enjoy the ocean in daylight. So after they had spent some time wading in the cool water and letting themselves be pushed around by the mild movements of the tide, Rey made off toward the shore, beckoning him along with her. By the time they reached the spot they’d left their things piled, they already had their mouths and hands all over each other. She broke away just long enough to lay the blanket out, then pulled him down onto it with her. Traction on the beach being what it was, they both slipped a little and ended up in a tangled heap, kicking some sand onto the blanket with them.

Kylo didn’t mind that. There were other things that were more interesting to him at present, such as the way the moons bathed Rey’s body in silver and made him just want to stop and look at her for hours, trace his hands slowly over every luminous curve and edge of her, watch her face change in the pale light. The way her soaking hair stuck around her ears and neck as he sucked and nibbled at the sensitive places there. The way the water drying on his body made her hands grasp at him a little more firmly than usual as they sought purchase on his still-slick skin. For a while, with each lingering caress or press of skin to skin or flash of the pleasure and security and affection she was feeling, it was easy to entertain the notion that this could not possibly go wrong.

Soon enough his face was between her legs, one of them draped over his shoulder and the other crooked against him. He was kissing and lavishing the inside of her thighs one at time, drawing his tongue along them in broad, slow strokes, teasing her with his mouth and hands as her breath came in sighs and her muscles tensed and relaxed in anticipation. He was delighting in the taste of her skin and the sea salt that had dried there as it had on her face and breasts and stomach and every other part of her his lips had touched and would touch. He was . . . suddenly aware of something in his mouth that had not been there a moment before and definitely did not belong there.

It was sand. Just a few granules, but impossible to ignore and very, very annoying. Trying not to be obvious and kill the mood, Kylo paused, turned his head as discreetly as possible, and spit quietly toward the blanket. Rey’s hand, which had been wound into his hair, loosened a little, then tightened again questioningly as her leg pressed his shoulder. 

“What are you—did you just spit on me?” Her breath was short but she managed to sound alarmed anyway.

There was still sand in Kylo’s mouth. He could feel it crunching around in his teeth and scraping against the roof of his mouth when he swallowed. Trying to spit it out had hardly done anything. In fact, it seemed to have somehow made it worse. His tongue felt suddenly very dry—though that was more nerves now than the fault of sand or salt. Still, he doubted either of those were helping.

“No,” he said belatedly. His eyes settled on her leg. It was caked with stripes of damp sand. He could see clearly where his tongue and teeth had left marks in it. He considered spitting again, or trying to wipe his tongue off on the back of his hand, but thought better of it after what she’d asked him. “I’m not. It’s— You have— Sorry. It’s either that or I start choking on sand.”

“What?” 

Her leg dropped from his shoulder and she sat up, pushing herself back a bit. As if on cue, Rey grimaced and wriggled around, her eyes scanning the blanket, which had become all but useless as their ceaseless movement wrinkled and bunched it beneath them. Reflexively, she lifted her arms and brushed her hands briskly against her legs. The movement only succeeded in redistributing the already considerable amount of sand that Kylo could now see clung not only to her thighs but was stippled over most of her body.

“I don’t want to alarm you,” she said with remarkable composure. “But there is definitely sand in my ass. And also . . . oh.” She frowned and squirmed again and seemed to be considering something, which Kylo had to give her credit for, because right now he mostly wanted to cancel this altogether and leave. Her head tilted and she held up her hands as if in concession. “It’s fine. We’ll just straighten this back out. Maybe I should be on top?”

“Maybe not,” he said instantly, recoiling. “I’m having the exact same problem as you are. I’m not about to lie back down in that and make it worse.”

“It can only get so much worse.” Kylo thought that was charmingly optimistic. He himself was doubtful, as he was almost positive something microscopic had just bitten his toe. Bugs were just what they needed now. Rey shifted onto her knees and moved closer to him, where he was crouched awkwardly and trying to keep as much of himself on the blanket and off the sand as possible, as if it even mattered at this point. She wasn’t giving up. “What if I sort of . . . get down in front of you . . . and you come up behind me and—”

“Rey, please. Are you familiar with the concept of chafing?” As if he was afraid she was going to throw herself onto him, he scooted back a little and immediately winced as something gritty rubbed very uncomfortably in a place he had not previously considered it possible for sand to settle. “I am not putting any part of myself in or even on you like this. I’m relatively certain I have sand gathering in places I did not know existed. Maybe you’re used to sand in your . . . everything, but I’m not.”

“I’m not used to having sand anywhere. I was always very well covered on Jakku, thanks.” Rey sat back on the blanket, obviously annoyed but willing to see reason. She picked a clump of seaweed from her hair and tossed it away. “This sand is different. It’s all . . . wet and sticky. But you’re right. This was a mistake.”

“Huge.” He settled next to her and tried not to think about how itchy he was or about the fact that he absolutely was not hard anymore. That hadn’t happened before, and maybe he would have been embarrassed, but at the moment he was too generally irritated by everything else. He cast about for his shirt or pants, more than ready to be done with this. “So.”

Rey, who had been fishing around in her bag, held up a half-empty bottle of some dark liquid. “Want some glowwine?”

“No.” He looked at her incredulously and returned to trying to sort their jumbled clothing. “It isn’t even alcoholic.”

“It’s not, but you’re incredibly tense right now. You could use the extra endorphins.” As if to prove her point, she uncorked it and took a long swig, her throat bobbing several times before she broke away and offered the bottle to him. He couldn’t help looking her over and thinking what a terrible waste this was. “I’m trying to help.”

Reluctantly, he accepted it and took a pull. It was sweet and effervescent on his tongue and warm in his throat and belly, and it did make him feel moderately lighter within a few moments. Rey was watching him with a loopy grin. The mood-enhancing wine was clearly doing more for her than it was for him. But that look she was giving him, like she had never been happier to see another person, was better by far.

“I think,” she declared, getting abruptly to her feet and gathering her clothing where he’d placed them, “we should go back to the room, have a nice shower to get all this off us, and watch some holos.”

He was not going to argue with the new plan. In the context of the rest of their travels so far, this had been a harrowing experience. They dressed in a hurry after brushing as much sand from their skin as possible and trudged up the beach to sneak back out the way they’d come in, passing the bottle of glowwine back and forth as they went. 

“Hey,” Kylo said loudly as they neared the entry point, now fully feeling the effect of the glowwine, his own euphoria compounded by his strong perception of Rey’s. “Remember that time you slashed my face open with a lightsaber?”

Rey was walking with her head tipped back and letting the last drops of wine drip into her open mouth. “Yes.”

“Overall, I think I’d rate that experience as slightly better than this one.”

“Wow. I don’t think you’re being dramatic enough.” Rey glanced around and tried to balance the empty bottle on her head, giggling to herself when it tipped instead and Kylo caught it. She sidled up to him and wrapped an arm tightly around his waist. “Are you going to write that down in your report of this?”

“Maybe I am,” he said, pushing the bottle back into her hands.

“Make sure you include the part where you acted like some sand in your mouth was the end of the world.”

“Of course. I’ll add it right after the paragraph in which I detail the fact that you clearly have a sand fetish.”

“I don’t!” She laughed and swatted at the back of his thighs with the bottle. “You’re a monster.”

Kylo grinned and scooped her up, letting her hang back over his shoulder. “Yes I am.”

+++

_Report: East Beach. Junari Point. Chandrila. Primeday. Late night. Clear skies. Nothing of consequence to report. Would not attempt again. I hate sand._


End file.
